Too much time to think

Sitting alone at my desk at work in the quiet gives my mind time to wander, and think too much. I start thinking about how even though now that my bf has gotten a job all be it only a part time one. I know he's not going to even start the divorce process. Why not? who the fuck knows its one excuse after another, "I don't have the money, i'm afraid they're gonna put me in jail for unpaid parking tickets" Man the fuck up and get it done!! I'm not a patient person and this is really driving me up the wall!! I should be feeling happy, my sister just had her third baby and its a girl, what we've been praying and hoping for. Instead i am feeling crappy. I had a rough start this morning and maybe that started my day off badly. I just want to feel happy, loved and cared for. Him not taking care of this divorce thing the first chance he gets doesn't make sense to me. Maybe after almost 9 months of this i should just call it quits......I care about him though.....